Funniest Movie Lines Of All Time

I'm curious as to everyones opinions on this topic. Personally, I have quite a few, but I'll start with one.

(Willow)

Willow : See this acorn? I'll throw it at you and turn you to stone!
Madmartigan : Ooh, I'm really scared. Help! There's a peck with an acorn pointed at me!
Willlow : Don't call me a peck!
Madmartigan : Oh I'm sorry! Peck! Peck! Peck, Peck, Peck, Peck, Peck!

- J8)sh

(Robinhood: Men In Tights)

Scarlet : Blinkin! Fix your boobs; you look like a bleedin' Picasso!


(The Junglebook)

Buzzie : Hey Flaps, So what are we going to do?
Flaps : I don't know, what'cha wanna do?
Buzzie : Look Flaps, first I say "what we going to do?" then you say "I don't know, what'cha wanna do?" then I say "what we going to do" then you say what'cha wanna do" let's do something!
Flaps : Ok. What'cha wanna do?


(Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

Cameron: "When Cameron was in Egypt's laaaaand... let my Cameron goooooo"

NO.....TICKET!!

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

One of my fav lines (from Spaceballs)
His @ss, it's on backwards!
Then he scratches himself and says
"Why didn't anyone tell me my @ss was so big!"
I was lmao.....:D

There are a lot of funny lines from this movie, but that was one that came to mind, lol....
:D

Josh, thats why I put 'screw' in [], so that it was like the censored version of it.

Onijay,

That's a good one too!

I don't know if you noticed or not, but when I saw that scene in the theater, if you watch Sigourney's lips, she doesn't say "screw that", she uses the F-bomb. They just dubbed over it. I laughed my butt off when I saw that.

John,

Holy crap! How did I forget about "Dumb & Dumber"?!! That movie has some of the best lines ever! Good one John! Thanks for the older movies too! I'll have to check them out some day. There are a bunch with Chevy Chase, but I can't think of them off the top of my head, except

National Lampoon's European Vacation:

Chevy Chase: There's Parliament again kids!

Harry: "It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey."
Lloyd: "Yeah?"
Harry: "He's dead."
Lloyd: "Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?"
Harry: "His head fell off."
Lloyd: "His head fell off?"
Harry: "Yeah. He was pretty old."

And a about a hundred more lines from "Dumb and Dumber," a really dumb film with some of the funniest lines in any movie around.

"Your left or my left?" --Robert De Niro, "Mean Streets"

"I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner." --Anthony Hopkins, "The Silence of the Lambs"

"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" --Mae West, "She Done Him Wrong"

"I AM serious, and don't call me Shirley." --Leslie Nielsen, "Airplane"

"Tis but a scratch." --the Black Knight, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!" --John Cleese, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

"Anyone? Anyone?" --Ben Stein, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" --Rosalind Russell, "Auntie Mame"

"This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know." --Groucho Marx, "Animal Crackers"

"He slimed me." --Bill Murray, "Ghostbusters"

"Frau Bleucher!" --various characters, followed by the sound of horses whinnying in "Young Frankenstein"

"Great knockers!" --Gene Wilder, "Young Frankenstein"

"Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." --Cary Grant, "Arsenic and Old Lace"

But the classic: "Well, nobody's perfect." --closing line, Joe E. Brown, "Some Like It Hot"

John

Galaxy Quest, when the crew is trying to retake the ship and Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver reach a room where these big metal "chompers" are continually stomping the ground, Sigourney shouts:
"Well [screw] that!"
Later the Commander explains why the 'chompers' are there (because they were in the show)
"this shouldn't be here! It makes no logical sense! It's just a bunch of things that slam down! There's no reason for them!... Well forget, I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!"
[Later, whilst the captain is holding Gwenn and pushing her to jump through flames after clearing the chompers, a boy on a voice box is screaming: "Jump commander! Jump!"]


It's an utter riot!

No more rhyming, I mean it!
Anybody want a peanut?

(The Princess Bride)

In my opinion, Roddney Dangerfield is the King of one liners! ;)

"Last time I seen a mouth like that it had a hook in it" -- Roddney D. - Caddyshack

"Oh no, all women go to Switzerland to get their watch fixed" -- Roddney D. - Back to School

(lady walks up in a green dress)"If you had anymore pockets you'd look like a pool table!" -- Roddney D. - Back to School

"Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though." -- Roddney D. - Caddyshack

"Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity." -- Roddney D. - Caddyshack

"He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife." -- Roddney D. - Caddyshack

"Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes." -- Roddney D. - Back to School

"Are you fat? When you go jogging, do you leave potholes? When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say 'OK!'?" -- Roddney D. - Back to School

"And just remember, the best thing about kids... is making them!" -- Roddney D. - Back to School

"I hear in Canada you only have sex doggy style; that way you can both see the hockey game." -- Roddney D. - Meet Wally Sparks

"Siskel and Ebert caught my show. They gave me one finger up." -- Roddney D. - Meet Wally Sparks

"The other day I saved a girl from being attacked: I changed my mind." -- Roddney D. - Meet Wally Sparks

"What a place, Canada; they started a country and no one showed up." -- Roddney D. - Meet Wally Sparks


Tim :D