(My Blue Heaven)

Vinnie "You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section."

Shaldeen "Why is that?"

Vinnie " 'cause you could melt all of this stuff."

Okay, 1 more from Galaxy Quest...

Guy: Hey guys, (points to tactical viewscreen) there's a red....uh...thingy...moving toward the green-thingy.

Jason: What?

Guy: Red thingy moving toward the green thingy! I think...I think we're the green thingy.

Clerks

Customer: could i use your restroom?

Dante: Sure

Customer: What kind of toilet paper is in there?

Dante: The white kind

Customer: i dont care what color it is, is it rough?

Dante: yah, it kinda is

Customer: well that will hurt my hemorrhoids. can i take a roll of the good kind back there?

Dante: sure

Customer: well, im gonna need something to read. sometimes it takes a while, and i like to have something to read.

Dante: sure, you can bring a magazine from the rack

Customer: can i have one of those behind the counter?

Dante: the pornos?

Customer: I like to read the cartoons. they make me laugh. they draw real nice titties (*dante hands the magizine to the customer*). not this one, the one under this one. they draw bigger titties

and you all know what happens to the guy next...

-matt

(Ace Ventura When Nature Calls)

Ace: "Shhhhishkabob!, Shhhhawshenk Redemption!, ChicaaaaaGO!! YOU'RE OUTA THERE!!"

(Ghostbusters)

RAY: "Listen! Do you smell something?"

Jimmy Conway : WHOA. I don't believe what I'm hearing. Check out the BALLS on this kid. Hey Spider, this is for you. - Goodfellas

Well, I did entitle the thread "Funniest Movie LINES Of All Time" not Funniest movie SCRIPTS of all time. ;) You get too long with your descriptions, and people get bored trying to "re-live" the scene through text.

- Josh :D

Short & sweet? Damn, there goes that lengthy Romeo & Juliet soliloquy I was gonna quote next. I'll settle for a short one, then...

Benvolio: What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?

Romeo: Not having that, which, having, makes them short.

You can always use IMDB.com. Each movie has a 'memorable quotes' section.

I'm under the assumption few are actually reading the really long ones anyways ;). Short and sweet is the way to go.

Onijay, we have very literate readers here at DVD Town, and they've got terrific memories. Here are some things from "Bruce Almighty":

God: Well, I guess you can't do anything now that you're dead.
Bruce: I'm DEAD?
[pause]
God: Naw, I'm just messing with ya.
Bruce: That is NOT funny.

And the next one's not funny, either, just touching:

God: Parting soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. Now, a single mom who works two full-time jobs, and still finds the time to pick up her kid at soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager that says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.

John