Digital Joe #31

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I don´t like regulations. The FCC is a complete joke and the MPAA is so secretive their own spouses don´t know who they work for. Moreover, both these groups look out for one person: themselves. The FCC may purport to monitor what is broadcast over the public airwaves for "anything detrimental to families and children". In reality, all they do is kiss the collective ass of whatever parental or religious group causes the biggest stink. And the MPAA lives in a bubble all their own, giving rating headaches to important films like "Boys Don´t Cry" while playing with "Jackass Number Two".

It´s high time a group looked out for us, the consumer. I don´t need the FCC fining "Without a Trace" because of an orgy scene at 10 pm. I don´t need them to tell me what is and is not appropriate for me to watch. But we´ve already had that discussion. We need a regulatory body to monitor the DVD marketplace. We need a group to police the studios and other distributors because they clearly can´t do it themselves.

First off, how would this group be put together? Frankly, the studios have no say in this one. There are very knowledgeable people in the world who would gladly give their time to this endeavor. I´m sure a webmaster or two with great passion for the format could be persuaded to get involved-I´m already got one or two in mind. Who else? Maybe a restoration expert, some high level DVD reviewers and some fans. There would need to be a diverse cross-section of ages, backgrounds and educations to ensure the group had enough perspectives to fulfill its mission.

Okay, what would the mission be? Simply to protect the consumers from any number of stunts pulled by the studios. For starters, they´d make sure every DVD released came with an insert, even if said insert only contains chapter information and poster art. They´re also ensure the consumer is protected against double dips. No studio would be allowed to release a second version of any DVD within one year of its original release. If they want to put a single and double disc set out on the same day, that´s fine. Full screen and widescreen? Fantastic.

Speaking of different editions, there would be a minimum for the number of copies which constitutes a "Limited Edition". The recent garbage with impossible to find 2 disc sets would be a thing of the past. Perhaps 500,000 copies minimum. Maybe lower, maybe higher. While we´re on the subject, all exclusives would be outlaws. The extras included on these bonus discs would be required to end up on the general release. Again, this is not to punish a retailer or studio; this is all designed to protect the consumer, giving us all piece of mind when we buy any discs.

Now, you´re probably wondering why our new committee isn´t doing away with full screen movies. I agree they shouldn´t be on the shelves. However, as long as a widescreen version is available in the same quantity, I have no problem with it. What I do have a problem with-and the actual motivation behind this idea-is to make sure the studios release complete product. This is much more of a problem with TV shows than movies, obviously. This group would ensure the episodes or films are the complete versions and not TV or syndication cuts.

How would they do this? Monitor the process. Yes, I knew there are truckloads of product coming out all the time. That´s why this group can cherry pick a staff, associates who will be trained and report back. As a general rule, the older the product, the longer the running time (for TV). So if an episode of a 1960s show runs 42 minutes, a red flag goes up. That process would be halted and the appropriate research done.

If complete copies can´t be found, then TV product does not get the label of "The Complete X Season". Instead, the front cover is required to have a disclaimer stating these episodes are not complete. (The same goes for aspect ratio; if the intended AR is 1.85:1, then a 1.85 print must be provided on the DVD.)

This is all well and good, great lip service to a perfect world. There needs to be penalties. The only thing that really hits businesses are monetary fines. Therefore, a realistic scale of fines would be imposed. More than that, though, they would be required to "make good" on the problem. If a cut TV show slips through the cracks, a complete set will be released. This fine would go toward funding this group and their work.

One more thing: much like the Comics Code, there would be an official stamp of approval for any disc that passed all the requirements for DVD. This mark would be present on the front cover of any DVD: in a corner, near the title, on the bottom…it has to be apparent to the consumer. It can not be tucked on the back cover with the MPAA rating. The public would be made aware that DVD´s are being monitored and someone is looking out for them. Just like TV ratings, there would be an information campaign to educate potential viewers about the ratings.

I understand a lot of people aren´t going to understand this nor will they really care. However, while we´re policing everything in the community, why not police an industry that will actually help people in some way? The simple answer is that the studios aren´t going to give two flying pigs about a group approving their DVD´s. No big box retailer is going to not carry a release because it hasn´t been stamped. Really, can you see anybody not stocking "X-Men: The Last Stand" because it doesn´t have an insert? Probably not. But, over time, a stigma will be attached to not being approved. The stigma, with a little luck, will make people pay attention to what they´re buying.

I said it before and I´ll say it again: this isn´t to punish anyone in particular; it´s to protect the consumer. Someone has to look out for the people paying their heard earned money for an incomplete TV show, a movie that is going to be double-dipped in six months or a release so riddled with errors no one can reasonably enjoy it.

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