Theatrical Review of Race to Witch Mountain

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If you've seen the trailer for "Race to Witch Mountain," then you've seen the coolest scene with the most phenomenal special effects. Oh, there are other shots--like a flying saucer trying to navigate the tunnels of "Witch Mountain," or telekinetic manipulation of objects--but it's tough to beat that shot where the boy alien shape-shifts right through the seat of the car onto the highway and reorganizes his matter so it's like hitting a brick wall when the vehicle chasing them crashes into him. Good stuff!

But considering this was a science-fiction action film, I found myself underwhelmed by too many of the effects. It wasn't as if the original 1975 "Escape to Witch Mountain" was so hard to beat, either. It's just that the car chases in this new version had that "been there, crashed it before" look to it, while a "Predator"-like bounty hunter seemed as if he'd pulled a Mel Brooks and wandered from one movie back-lot onto another. And call me old-fashioned, but I kind of liked the original version with kids that had a certain amount of warmth to them. These alien kids (AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig) are a bit robotic for my tastes. While that may make more science-fiction sense, it doesn't exactly make you cling to them emotionally the way we did with Ike Eisenmann and Kim Richards in "Escape to Witch Mountain." And while I'm grousing, let me add that near the start of the second act there's a sequence that seems straight from "Land of the Lost" or "Lost in Space"--one which makes zero sense in a film like this. But I get ahead of myself.

"Race to Witch Mountain" begins with a cab driver with a past. Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson) used to drive for a never-seen crime boss named Mr. Wolf, but he's gone straight and just wants to get through the day without a lot of nonsense. That's proving difficult, because a Sci-Fi convention in Las Vegas is providing him with most of his business, and that means putting up with a bunch of nutcases in costume. But just as he's leaving the parking lot after a brush with Wolf's goons who tell him the boss wants him to drive for him again and won't take no for an answer, he finds himself with a couple of strange fares in the backseat--two kids who seem odder than most and flash a wad of cash to take them far out into the desert.

Looking for those two kids are a special, triple-secret unit of the U.S. Government headed by a bureaucrat named Henry Burke (Ciarán Hinds), who turns out to be more of a thug than Mr. Wolf. As his men chase Bruno and the kids and Bruno drops his fares off in the middle of nowhere at what appears to be a ramshackle, abandoned building, he follows them through secret door after secret door into a lush subterranean jungle right there beneath the Nevada desert. And in this jungle is the Predator--I mean, the Bounty Hunter, who's been assigned to kill the children. Why? Well, we think we have an idea, but when it comes right down to it, we're never all that sure. And the cavernous space that looks like a "Land of the Lost" set doesn't help much.

By this time I'm looking around in the theater and checking out the scrollwork on the ceiling. It's actually striking me as ho-hum. Then, almost as inexplicably as the film sagged in the middle, things picked up dramatically and the rest of "Race to Witch Mountain" was an enjoyable experience. How enjoyable depends on whom you ask. My kids gave it an 8 or 9 out of 10, and my wife, who's sensitive to the things that kids should or shouldn't see, gave it a 7 out of 10 just because it was a good family movie that accomplished what it set out to do. Normally I'd be inclined to agree with my wife, but those nagging negatives pulled it down to a 6 for me--especially since I had the strange sensation of watching two completely different movies, one so-so and the other pretty good. When the trio gets back to Las Vegas again and interacts with whack-jobs at the sci-fi convention (two Imperial storm troopers are a riot), the action picks up. It's the same when they pick up a serious scientist who believes in UFOs (Carla Gugino as Dr. Alex Friedman) and get the help of a charlatan who's made a good living by monitoring the data sent him by people who believe in UFOs (Garry Marshall). It's not so much that the extra bodies help, but the script deepens a bit . . . and also lightens up.

The comedy is welcome, because otherwise it's just a straight double-chase film, with Jack Bruno pursued by Wolf's petty toughs and the kids running from the government and an intergalactic assassin.

I'm no great fan of action scenes where jerky camerawork and quick cuts substitute for dynamite special effects, and too often I felt that director Andy Fickman ("The Game Plan," "She's the Man") relied on these cheap tricks. Then again, this was the first non-comedic feature film that he directed, just as it was the first non-comedic feature film written by Matt Lopez ("Bedtime Stories," "The Wild")--which is probably why Mark Bomback ("Live Free or Die Hard") was brought in to co-write the action stuff. It's probably no coincidence that some of the most successful scenes in "Race to Witch Mountain" are comedic. The action picks up near the end of the second act, and things get as thrilling as you begin thinking they should have seemed all along.

But my wife is right. There's no foul language to speak of, no attitude, no blood or gore, and really no excessive violence. Some moments of peril are included, naturally, but even those are handled tastefully. Johnson has outgrown his nickname ("The Rock") and seems to have found a comfortable home at the House of Mouse. He plays well off children-even robotic ones-and fits the mold of a nice-guy action-hero in a film that's as wholesome as can be. Marshall is a laugh-riot as Dr. Donald Harlan, and Gugino holds her own in two-shots with Johnson. Look for original "Witch Mountain" stars Richards and Eisenmann as a waitress and sheriff in a local diner--just another nice touch that makes the film fun. But the rationale for the children's situation made more sense in the 1975 film. If only they had told that Predator dude to go back to the right set . . . .

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