Bikini Bloodbath (DVD)

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It's an oxymoron, but a couple of the smart jocks get bored with their get-together and come up with the idea to go see what the girls are doing in hopes of some hanky-panky. All this does is add a partial gratuitous sex scene and line up more victims to the slaughter.

Most of the jokes are corny or pushing obscene, but to be fair there are one or two instances that made me laugh, so I have to give a little credit for that at least. It's just too bad that a little more thought didn't go into the script to keep the humor on the more palatable side.

Chef Death crashes the party, and things get worse from there, for both the teenagers and the viewers. He sluggishly chases them down and starts chopping away, but the antics are neither scary nor funny. The blood spurting effects are cheesy, and the frantic teens are uncoordinated and give the impression that they are winging it as they go along.

"Bikini Bloodbath" was never meant to be a masterpiece, as the case labels it as "mindless fun." I just think that if it were executed properly with more thought in the writing like some of the horror spoofs of the past, it wouldn't have been such a bland dud.

Video:
The issues I had with the video weren't really with the picture itself, but more with the application. For starters, the movie is presented in a non-anamorphic widescreen format with an aspect ratio of 1.78:1. This means that on most widescreen televisions, people will not only experience black bars on the top and bottom of the screen, but also on the sides, creating a sort of picture-frame effect.

There were also a few scenes that when the light hit the camera at just the right angle, you could actually see fingerprints and other smudges on the lens. Sure, it's a cheap film, but wiping down the camera with some Kleenex doesn't put a deep hole in the budget.

Audio:
I think the sound is in 5.1 surround, but that information isn't documented on the DVD menu or on the case, so I'm just guessing from what it sounded like on my system. It also seems that the filmmakers must have been using low-quality microphones or inexperienced boom operators because during the film, most of the speaking parts sounded muffled at times and tinny at others.

The music is a little better, as hard-driving rock flowed throughout the whole movie, but it's still isn't the greatest. A lot of tracks sounded like a carbon copy of the previous one, and a few song melodies were unquestionably stolen from famous artists. So I hope there aren't impending lawsuits.

Extras:
For extra features, "Bikini Bloodbath" has a music video by White Liger, and, honestly, it wasn't anything special like the usual videos seen on MTV today. Basically, it was just the band playing in what looked like a garage for the whole song. There's also a low-quality movie trailer for the film and photo gallery. Wrapping up the extras is a handful of bloopers that really didn't generate any laughter at all.

The Final Cut:
"Bikini Bloodbath" might be moderately entertaining for a group of guys gathered together for a football game, having a few beers, and having nothing better to do than put the movie on once the game was over. Still, even then, there are better options if you want to see topless bimbos and mindless killing sprees. The scariest part of the movie was learning that there is a sequel: "Bikini Bloodbath 2: Bikini Bloodbath Car Wash."

Check out my interview with co-creator Thomas Edward Seymour.

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