Blade: House of Chthon (DVD)
APPROX. 88 MINS. - PROD. YEAR: 2006 - MPA RATING: NR
" ...adds enough gratuitous sex and violence to make us forget for a minute that it really is a television production.
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Given that "Blade" started life, so to speak, as a fairly interesting vampire novelty with a fairly interesting main character portrayed by Wesley Snipes and then plummeted downhill fast with its sequels, you wouldn't expect a television knock-off to be up to the original. And you'd be right. But that doesn't stop this first installment of the TV show from trying.
"Blade: House of Chthon" is the unrated, feature-length première of the 2006 television series, the main character based on the Marvel comics creation, the program originally presented on Spike TV in association with Marvel Entertainment and New Line Television. It sort of takes up where the Snipes movies left off, only this time with Kirk "Sticky" Jones (a.k.a. Sticky Fingaz of the rap group Onyx) in the lead as the half human/half vampire, Blade. And because this DVD edition features the unrated version of the movie, it adds in a good deal of extra blood, gore, sex, and nudity. Oh, and did I mention blood and gore? To be sure we get the point, most of the added blood and gore comes in the first three minutes of the story.
Blade has been fighting vampires since his youth, and he has apparently acquired quite an arsenal of weapons over the years. It used to be that he needed only his fists, feet, and a few carving knives. Now, he carries enough weaponry to take on the North Korean army. Nobody seems to notice him walking around town, either, despite his tattoos, sword, ammunition belt, guns, and full-length black coat. The movie takes place in Detroit, and for all I know, maybe he blends right in.
Unlike Snipes, Jones's Blade is a quiet guy who talks in a whisper and carries a lot of big sticks. Plus, he's an expert martial artist as before. But here's the thing: If you count screen time, the real star of the show is a character named Krista Starr (Jill Wagner), a tough, if not too smart, war vet. When the villain of the piece, Marcus Van Sciver (Neil Jackson), murders Krista's twin brother, she attempts to track down his killer, unaware that Van Sciver is the leader of a cult of vampires known as the House of Chthon. If that name sounds vaguely Lovecraftian, you know it's not a coincidence. Since Blade is trying to get his hands (and fists and feet and sword and bullets) on Van Sciver, too, we expect all these folks eventually to meet up.
Peter O'Fallon directed the film, and, fortunately, he's a seasoned television guy. This means he knows where and how the action must come--in spurts between what would be advertising breaks on TV. As a result, the movie is a sequence of ups and downs, none of them very imaginative but the combined effect of which provides a solid forward thrust.
Along the way, the audience meets a variety of additional supporting characters, many of whom will take up residence in the series' permanent cast. One of these people is a crooked detective, Brian Boone (Bill Mondy), who is in league with the vampires and helps them round up a few meals. Another is Blade's assistant, Shen (Nelson Lee), who is also a techie genius and comes up with any number of assorted electronic and chemical wonders. Among them, and I'm not kidding, are garlic bullets that disintegrate vampires. Hey, I'm trying to write this with a straight face, which ain't easy. Shen is kind of a Robin to Blade's Batman, and thank goodness. While Blade never cracks a smile, preferring to look gloomy and solemn all the time, Shen has a fine sardonic wit that lends a little sparkle to the story.
Then, there is a cameo by Randy Quaid as a goofy professor who has stocked his home with assorted vampire paraphenalia because he knows all about night creatures. Quaid's character wears a pair of eye glasses circa 1958, with a side wing missing; he drapes his front door with garlic; and he talks casually of things like "hominus nocturni" ('vampires" to us laymen). Quaid is one of the only persons in the movie who appears to know how campy all of this is and plays it accordingly.
With the exception of Quaid, almost everyone else is young and attractive. Not that Quaid isn't attractive, but he's over forty. The filmmakers clearly meant this movie and this series to target a young audience, so even the villain, Van Sciver, is young, tall, handsome, blond, and blue-eyed. Frankly, he looks more one of DVDTOWN's Danish administrators than a fearsome, bloodsucking monster.
