I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (Blu-ray)

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Huh? you say. Yeah, me too. Karla wins a trip for four to the Bahamas, and she asks Julie (who's been having recurring Ben Wilson fisherman slasher nightmares) to put it behind her and finally get a date. Great timing. On the one-year anniversary of her trauma? And anyone who knows his/her history or geography is already groaning because of the quiz question and answer. But it gets better, or, I should say, worse. The only believable part of this whole film is that Karla would set Julie up with Will after she asked Ray (from the first film) and he turned her down. So the four of them wind up at a resort in the Bahamas, where the most unbelievable aspect of the whole film is that this nice place is only open "that night" because of hurricane season, and they're down to a skeleton (pun intended) staff of just five people . . . for an entire luxury resort! I mean, the Atlantic hurricane season runs from June through November and the resorts are still open for business, so the pill that director Danny Cannon ("The Forgotten") expects us to swallow is HUGE. And why would a resort feature surly, combative staffers--every last one of them? I mean, this isn't the Bates Motel, whose occupants' eccentricity and weirdness we buy because they're truly isolated. But these folks are in the tourist industry in a popular destination, so the basic premise is absolutely nonsensical. So is the ultimate "reveal."

Oh, there are some "cool" slasher moments, if that's your thing, but if you stop to think about it for even a second the whole house of cards falls down in your lap. I won't get into spoilers, but my guess is that most viewers will be scratching their heads so vigorously that onlookers will think it's a bad case of dandruff.

Video:
The 1080p, AVC/MPEG-4 codec picture looks respectable but by no means stunning. To my eyes it looked a little flat and a little soft. Black levels also seemed to be light, so that the murky scenes LOOKED a little murky. Skin tones look a bit spray-tanned in spots, and this was before the era of spray tans. The main positive is that there isn't much in the way of noticeable graininess.

Audio:
The audio is a little better. The English, French, or Portuguese Dolby TrueHD 5.1 is lively enough, with just enough ambient sound channeled through the rear speakers to make it interesting. But it's a front-heavy track that seems to have been mastered at a lower volume than usual. Crank it up and maybe you'll jump a bit higher in your seats. Subtitles are in English, English SDH, French, Portuguese, Spanish, Chinese, Korean, and Thai.

Extras:
Okay, I confess. Having felt punished to watch this film just to tell you all about it, I was relieved that there weren't a whole lot of bonus features. Just a five-minute making-of feature that feels like a pre-release promo, a music video featuring Hewitt ("How Do I Deal"), and theatrical trailers.

Bottom Line:
Like a rotten vaudeville act, this one deserves the hook.

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