Jonas Brothers: The Concert Experience (Blu-ray)

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I have never screamed or cried at a concert, nor have I waved a glow-stick. And I would not spend 72 hours waiting in line to see three young men play music, or wedge shoulder-to-shoulder with others in Times Square at midnight to catch a glimpse of the Jonas Brothers at a record release party. That's one main difference between me and the target audience for "Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience." The other, of course, is that I'm not a female between the ages of 6 and 16. So in fairness to our readers, I'm going to offer two reviews, one mine, and the other my seven-year-old daughter's. Hers will be shorter and sweeter, because, well, she's seven.

Kelsey's review: 5 out of 10
"I like the Jonas Brothers, but I didn't like the movie," Kelsey said. When pressed, she added that she liked them better on their Disney Channel TV show ("JONAS!") and in "Camp Rock." The music was "okay," but she didn't appreciate the behind-the-scenes footage. It was better in the "Hannah Montana 3D Concert," she said, where you really felt what it's like to be Hannah Montana. You didn't get that from the Jonas Brothers because it was all acting. They were just doing things for the camera. Kelsey said that some of the best songs were "the lava song" ("Burning Up") with all the fire onstage, along with the "Camp Rock" songs and special guest appearances by Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato. Kelsey also liked it when the Jonas Brothers were raised up on tall columns and when fireworks shot out of Kevin's guitar. She liked it when the brothers shot foam all over the audience, and when the three of them drummed and water came out. But she didn't think their moves were that great, just lots of jumping and hopping around. Joe is her favorite Jonas, but she thinks Nick has the most talent because he plays more instruments.

My review: 4 out of 10
I saw one guy in the audience at this concert or in the crowds waiting to see Disney's boy band, and he was probably dragged there by his girlfriend. That got me thinking. This "Deluxe Extended Movie" takes two taped Anaheim, California concerts from the Brothers' 2008 Burning Up Tour and intercuts them with behind-the-scenes segments that are as staged as the show--even the moment when the guys leave the stage for a quick-change and, bare-chested, pretend to notice the camera for the first time and throw a shirt over the lens. Earlier, as they escaped a mob of fans that chased them right into the title sequence, those of us old enough to remember The Beatles on "The Ed Sullivan Show" couldn't help but recall the Fab Four's movie, "A Hard Day's Night." That comparison is offered more pointedly later in the film. As the boys watch a TV show about boy bands and see the Beatles, it's left for viewers to connect the dots. But I also thought of Sen. Lloyd Bentsen's put-down of Dan Quayle when the latter tried to compare himself to JFK: "I know Jack Kennedy; Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."

Despite being the youngest band ever featured on the cover of Rolling Stone, the Jonas Brothers are no Beatles. There were plenty of guys in the audience for Beatles concerts, plenty of guys in attendance at the Beatles movies, and plenty of guys (I raise my hand) who owned quite a few Beatles record albums. That's because they approached music the way Jimmy Buffett does: "I'm gonna make my music for money . . . no, I'm gonna make my music for me." Listen to the lyrics of the Jonas Brothers' songs, note how often the boys moan or whine their lines trying to elicit an emotional response from their adoring teenybopper fans, or consider how sugary their songs are. If Elvis sang one song per concert directly to his female fans via one of them, these guys are channeling all of their songs for that specific target audience. In the late Sixties and early Seventies they had a name for this kind of music: Bubblegum.

I do feel sorry for the Jonas Brothers, though--not because they're young millionaires, but because they do have talent. After all, they don't lip-synch like some of those other boy-bands did, they write they're own music, and they actually play instruments. It's just that they've allowed themselves to be mega-marketed as a phenomenon, and as happens with any over-hyped thing in this media age, the O.J. white Bronco effect will kick in at some point. People will get tired of the mega-marketed boy band and move on to the next craze. That's too bad, because these three guys, while the film reveals they're getting a little full of themselves, are basically nice chaps who have more talent than any of the boy bands that were assembled during the Bubblegum era or even the Backstreet Boys/NSYNC era. They don't need all the pyrotechnics and hydraulics and gimmicks that their concerts feature. They don't need to be elevated like (teen)idols high on four-foot circles for the adulation of their fans, or to shoot fireworks from a guitar neck, or spray down their audience with gigantic Super-Soakers that pump goopy white stuff all over their already orgasmic teen fans.

The youngest, Nick Jonas (16, when the concert was filmed), is probably the most talented. You get the feeling that he's responsible for most of their music. During the course of the concert he takes over on drums, guitar, piano, and acoustic guitar. And, in fact, the band was Nick's project. He was performing on Broadway by age seven and signed a solo deal with INO and Columbia records when he was 12. He's also the lynchpin to the group's charity work. Nick, who has diabetes, has been an ambassador for the disease, helping young people to cope. In concert, it's his instrumental skills that shine. As a singer he's okay, but somebody ought to pull him aside and tell him to leave the crooning to Joe. When he tries it, it comes out a little like moaning or whining. Just sing, Nick. Forget trying to come on to those teenyboppers in the audience with some mooning, doe-eyed song about love or teen angst. Use the force, and that means put the music first, audience second, kid.

Kevin (21) is the oldest, who plays lead guitar and likes the runway, strutting or skipping into the bowels of the crowd as often as middle brother and lead singer Joe (19), who apparently feels as if he has to be jumping and hopping and prancing and doing microphone tricks non-stop. The brothers are backed in this concert by sidemen John Taylor (guitar), John Lawless (drums), Ryan Liestman (keyboards), Gregory Garbowsky (bass), and an all-female string section that, dressed in red dresses and walking just behind the brothers, reminds you a little of the old Robert Palmer video, "Addicted to Love."

In addition to songs by Swift and Lovato, the boys' bodyguard, Big Rob Feggans, raps on "Burning Up," which is a really nice egalitarian gesture on the part of the Jonas Brothers, if you think about it. The Deluxe Extended Movie features two performances not seen in theaters--"Can't Have You" and "A Little Bit Longer"--plus two more bonus songs, "Love Bug" and "Shelf." Songs performed during the concert include "That's Just the Way We Roll," "Hold On," "BB Good," "Goodnight and Goodbye," "Video Girl," "Gotta Find You," "This Is Me" (Lovato), "A Little Bit Longer," "Play My Music," "Hello Beautiful," "Still in Love with You," "Pushin' Me Away," "Can't Have You," "Shouldn've Said No (w/Swift), "Love is on Its Way," "S.O.S.," "Burnin' Up," and "Tonight."