Submerged (DVD)
APPROX. 96 MINS. - PROD. YEAR: 2005 - MPA RATING: R
" Submerged was first conceived as a stranded sub picture involving weird life forms, but even with the mutant plotline jettisoned, this one still sinks.
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B-movie director Anthony Hickox ("Jill the Ripper") relies heavily on techniques that resemble skip-printing and stop-action photography during the action scenes, which, you can only guess, is intended to compensate for the lack of real special effects and believable fight sequences. Through it all, Seagal, the man of a single face, looks and acts as if he's on a subway commute. Even when the sub is blown up, his only reaction is, "Oh, man."
Other stellar lines? "That's why I get the big bucks," "I love working with a professional," and "I got a shitty feeling about this one, man." But my absolute favorite is when the terminally Caucasian Cody tells someone, "You got 10 minutes to get your white ass out of here." O-kay.
"Submerged" offers nothing but cardboard characters, hokey dialogue, a patchwork plot, and contrived action sequences. It wouldn't be any less believable if Yoda and Condoleezza Rice had been teamed up to fight the evil doctor and his terrorist friends.
Video: Though this 2005 film is mastered in High Definition and presented in anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1 aspect ratio), there's actually more graininess and washed-out color than I would have expected. Admittedly it could be deliberate, but if so, it does nothing to enhance the film.
Audio: The sound is pretty decent. Though there's nothing on the box or press materials to indicate as much, and though there's not much rear speaker action, the soundtrack appears to be Dolby Digital 5.1.
Extras: There are none—just an insert advertising other titles and some previews. Are you kidding? Who would want to talk about this film after making it?
Bottom Line: If Steven Seagal started out as a wooden actor, in the twilight of his action career, with him looking haggard and tired, he's become absolutely petrified—a low-energy caricature of his earlier balsa performances. It was hard not to like him in "Hard to Kill" or "Under Siege," because there was plenty of character motivation and Seagal seemed to be full of energy. "Submerged" was first conceived as a stranded sub picture involving weird life forms, but even with the mutant plotline jettisoned, this one still sinks.
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