Universal Soldier: The Return (Blu-ray)

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The first rule of dialogue is that you don't build clumsy exposition into the lines, but that happens here time and again. "Universal Soldier: The Return" is full of caricatures and bad dialogue, which are always akin to the chicken and egg dilemma. You never know which came first. Adding to the mess are continuity and logic problems. There are a number of head-snappers, as when a knife is thrown into the chest of one of the Unisols and as he pulls the bloody blade out you hear the same sound as if it was being unsheathed from a metal scabbard.

Funnily enough, during action scenes your blood still gets going, no matter how hokey it all is. What helps isn't the wooden acting of Van Dame (and the single outfit he wears that never gets mussed up), but rather people like Goldberg who ham it up like the best (worst?) Bond villains, and Schanz and Bryant, whose acting reminds you every now and then that you should be believing this instead of laughing it off.

Video:
I never saw this in the theaters and so I can't make comparisons, but I can report that the picture isn't one of those you're going to want to pop in to impress the neighbors. Many of the scenes are dark and murky, with more grain than many Blu-rays. It may well be deliberate and part of the master, but it's an unimpressive picture for 1080p. The AVC/MPEG-4 transfer doesn't seem to be a problem, because there are no apparent artifacts or DNR/enhancements, but the whole thing looks a little hazy and grainy. "Universal Soldier: The Return" is presented in 1.85:1 aspect ratio.

Audio:
The audio is stronger, with an English, French, or Portuguese Dolby TrueHD 5.1 soundtrack (48kHz/24-bit) doing the job, with active rear speakers, mid-tone pop, and zinging ricochets in the high range. In the non-action sequences the sound isn't as dynamic, but I guess that comes with the territory.

Extras:
There isn't a whole lot here, just a few recycled mini-features that total just over 20 minutes. A "making of" feature is really a pre-release promo that runs just five minutes, while "Michael J. White: A Universal Soldier's Workout" runs even less, and it does everything but prescribe steroids. The longest feature is a 12-minute job that features Van Damme "looking back-moving forward" though not much of either. All he does is blab about his other movies, which makes it feel like another promo feature. Boo hiss.

Bottom Line:
There are better action movies out there. Period.