Van Wilder: Freshman Year (DVD)

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In the beginning there was "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" (2002), a smutty college comedy that featured Ryan Reynolds as the coolest guy on campus, a fellow making a career of staying in school and partying at the same time. My colleague Dean Winkelspecht liked it, saying "if you are looking for some bare breasts and associated humor, then you really can't go wrong," and that "it surprised me as being funny and entertaining." He gave it a 7/10 film rating. Following the original movie came "National Lampoon's Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj" (2006), with Kal Penn as Wilder's old sidekick, now elevated to full star status. My colleague Erik Martinez said of that movie that "It's one of those films that really didn't need to happen" and gave it a 1/10. Now, we have 2009's "Van Wilder: Freshman Year" sans "National Lampoon," a direct-to-video outing that National Lampoon apparently didn't want anything to do with. Understandably.

The idea in this newest installment is that it's not another sequel, but a prequel. Whilst the first movie indicated that Wilder had already been in college for a decade, this new one, starring Jonathan Bennett as Van, goes back and tells us about his freshman year. As if we really wanted to know. Well, at least the movie has the title character in it, something the last one didn't. Not that it helps.

Also, on this DVD edition we get the unrated rendering of the film. I'm not sure what that entails, having never seen the rated version. I suppose there are a few more exposed bosoms involved; maybe an extra naughty word or two. Whatever, it isn't enough to save a drab movie from exposing itself.

It's evident from the outset that screenwriter Todd McCullough and director Harv Glazer ("Kickin' It Old Skool") grew up enjoying "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Animal House," because echoes of those two films in particular resonant in practically every frame of "Freshman Year." The newer film tries to combine the easygoing charm of "Bueller" and the raunchy humor of "Animal House" with little success. Instead, we get the character Van Wilder as a laid-back, nonchalant, instant big-man-on-campus taking time off from the story here and there to talk directly to the audience, as all around him runs a string of sex gags, sexual innuendo, nudity, profanity, and grossness. Not only do the two styles fail to mesh, they're positively at odds with one another. The result is an ambiguous tone that's awkward and numbing rather than engaging or amusing.

Yes, the movie has a plot, and it, too, is right out of "Ferris Bueller" and "Animal House." It begins with Van graduating from high school the head of his class, with the school's co-valedictorian, a comely lass, showing her appreciation to Van under his robes during his commencement speech. It's as dirty as it sounds and sets the mood for most of the rest of the film.

Van is a rich kid, and his father (Linden Ashby) insists he attend Coolidge College (filmed in Decatur, Georgia; I guess Eugene, Oregon, had had enough of college flicks), the school all the Wilders have attended and endowed over the years. Wilder Hall enshrines the former Wilder graduates, and there's a placeholder there for the newest Wilder, young Van. The trouble is, things have changed since the last Wilder graduated from Coolidge. In 1979 a girlie magazine rated it the number-one party school in America, but now its uptight, self-righteous Dean (Kurt Fuller) forbids smoking, drinking, drugs, and kissing. Kissing? He's posted signs.

Van is not pleased. So he sets out to change things--to bring sex and alcohol to the ultraconservative, religious institution and make everyone happy again. Except the Dean. Van exclaims "Boys, it's toga time!" Sound familiar? "Toga! Toga! Toga!" And remember Bueller's mission--to make his friends more joyful?--same thing here; just add nudity, fornication, booze, and four-letter words.

Of course, the story has to include the usual assortment of college stereotypes. For instance, there's the ROTC as a gang of militant thugs, lead by a fanatical Hitler youth, Dirk Arnold (Steve Talley); Van's roommate, Farley Marley (Nestor Aaron Absera), a white Jamaican pothead who talks like a black Jamaican; and Van's new friend Yu Dum Fuk (Jerry Shea), who follows in the "Wilder" tradition of salacious Asian names.