Van Wilder: Freshman Year (DVD)

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Plus, there's a love interest, which brings up two points. The love interest in these things must be sweet and innocent and, unlike every other girl in the picture, never expose her breasts. The young lady in question is Kaitlin Hayes (Kristen Cavallari), Dirk's girlfriend and an ROTC drill instructor. The moment Van sets his eyes on her, we know it's a challenge to which he must rise. Then, an odd thing happens. Halfway through this sex romp, it turns into a traditional romantic comedy, almost forsaking the sex altogether except for some silly frolicking at the end.

"Van Wilder: Freshman Year" is a curious film that can't make up its mind exactly what it wants to be. Despite all its vulgarity, it isn't really offensive. It simply lacks any character, any personality, any voice of its own. Rather, it relies on an unimaginative string of clichés from other sex comedies. Some of the shenanigans are so exaggerated they fail to be funny, while others are so insipid, they fail to inspire. The result is that the film evokes nothing but a sigh of boredom.

Put it this way: If you're looking to view some female flesh, there isn't enough, even in the movie's unrated form, to warrant your attention. If you're looking for randy humor, there are precious few smiles, let alone laughs, involved. But if you're looking to fill two hours while you wait for the novocaine to wear off from a root canal, it's as good as anything. Your numbness will distract you from the fact that nothing is happening on screen worth watching.

Video:
The standard-definition video quality is the best thing about the disc. Paramount present the film in a 1.85:1 anamorphic screen ratio, in colors that are rich and black levels that are deep. Upscaled, it looks quite good, with fairly sharp delineation, natural hues, and only the occasional jittery line.

Audio:
The disc case says the audio is in Dolby Digital 5.1 surround, but you could have fooled me. There is a rather restricted front-channel stereo spread and almost no surround activity. Moreover, the sound is bright, forward, and aggressive, reproducing a pounding pop beat that begins to grate in two minutes flat.

Extras:
Although there are plenty of extras on the disc, they don't amount to much. They are primarily of the promotional variety rather than anything particularly illuminating. First up, there's an audio commentary wherein director Harv Glazer and the major cast members chatter and goof off for the duration of the film. Following that is a series of short featurettes. We get "Creating the Legend: The Making of Van Wilder: Freshman Year," seventeen minutes; "Going Balls Out: Colossus," three minutes on the dog in the film with the prodigious gonads; "Coolidge College: Orientation Video," three more minutes; "Decatur," nine minutes, with the cast on location in Georgia; "Teacher's Pets," two minutes on the girls in the movie; "Van's Party Supplies," four minutes on the various sex toys used in the film; and "Pranks 101," four minutes on just that. Then we get about seven minutes of bloopers, and it's almost over.

The bonuses wrap up with seventeen scene selections; previews at start-up and even more in the main menu; English as the only spoken language; and English, French, and Spanish subtitles.

Parting Shots:
According to the press release Paramount sent out with the review disc, they are not issuing "Van Wilder: Freshman Year" on Blu-ray, only on DVD (at least at this time). One can understand why.

What's more, I get the impression from the size of the cast, the location shooting, and the disc's extras that the studio may have originally intended the film as a theatrical release, but then saw that it wasn't funny enough, original enough, or even sexy enough to warrant a full-scale theatrical campaign. So they sent it straight to video. Who knows. For all its raunchiness, the movie is harmless enough. It's just dull.

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