Eagle Eye (Blu-ray)

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"Charlie's Angels," "I, Robot," "Constantine," "Transformers," "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull": It looks as though Shia LaBeouf is Hollywood's new adventure-hero golden boy. In "Eagle Eye" we get more of the same, this time the actor paired up with his director from "Disturbia," D.J. Caruso. With a big budget, a Blu-ray transfer, and explosive action every ten seconds, "Eagle Eye" has everything going for it but believability and common sense. But who ever said those components were essential to selling a thriller? The main thing is that it looks and sounds good in high definition.

"Eagle Eye" attempts to be topical, up-to-date, taking on the subjects of high-tech antiterrorism, government surveillance, public paranoia, and such, but the movie starts right out on such an improbably ridiculous note, it rather spoils the rest of the picture. We see the military using a drone spy plane to check out a suspected terrorist leader in the Mideast, the suspect heading across the desert in a car caravan. When he leaves his car in a small village, the military computers calculate there is a 51% probability that he is the guy they're after. The Secretary of Defense decides to take him out with a missile. But does the military wait until the suspect gets back into his car and heads back into open spaces? No. They blow him up in the middle of the village and kill about 800 innocent civilians in the process. Come on! Even the most callous critic of U.S. antiterrorist policy wouldn't accuse the government of being that dumb, and I'm not being sarcastic.

So, from the very beginning, the overriding word for "Eagle Eye" is "dumb." Expect the movie to exaggerate all aspects of the real world and real-world technology. You see, the thing here is that the baddies know everything about everyone and can control everybody's every move. They not only can eavesdrop on your phone conversations, they can do so even if you've turned your cell phone off. They can use every security camera in every corner of the country, from convenience stores to intersections to within the Pentagon itself, to watch your every move; and they can control every computerized device under the sun to monitor and direct your every activity. The baddies are all-seeing, all-knowing, and all-powerful. The question is, Who are these baddies? Is it our own government, a hostile country, an international conspiracy like SPECTRE or QUANTUM? When you find out the answer, you'll laugh, it's so ludicrous. But I'll give you a hint: LaBeouf has been through this before. Besides, how all-knowing could the baddies be when they can't even pronounce "Porsche" correctly?

Anyway, LaBeouf plays Jerry Shaw, a Stanford dropout currently working in a copy store. His twin brother, Ethan, was the darling of the family and the apple of his father's eye because Ethan graduated from college and got a high-security job with the defense department. The father has no respect for Jerry's slacker attitude.

Then Ethan dies, and after the funeral Jerry finds $250,000 deposited in his bank account and a ton of weaponry in his apartment. Suddenly, the FBI show up and arrest him as a terrorist. But that's just the beginning. A woman's voice on his cell phone instructs him how to escape FBI headquarters, and Jerry reluctantly follows her directions, with half the country's security forces on his tail.

And that's about it. The rest of the movie, the next hour and three-quarters, is one long, hyperkinetic chase, with the audience wondering what in the heck is happening and how the voice on the cell phone can control so much of the goings on: changing stop lights, directing automated cranes, flashing instructions to Jerry from computerized signs, etc. The running, shooting, and smashups quickly become tiring.

The plot gets sillier as it goes along. Jerry soon picks up a partner in this escapade, a young woman as equally in the dark about what's going on as Jerry is. She is Rachel Holloman (played by Michelle Monaghan, whom I keep getting confused with Bridget Moynahan), a divorced mother and paralegal. While neither LaBeouf nor the movie ever makes Jerry a very sympathetic character, Ms. Monaghan does make us feel rather sorry for Rachel's plight. Be aware, however, that the late film critic Gene Siskel would not have been pleased, because the story puts a child in danger.

The other major players in this adventure are Billy Bob Thonton as an FBI agent and Rosario Dawson as an Air Force OSI (Office of Special Investigations) agent, both in hot pursuit of Jerry and Rachel. Will they figure out what's going on before Jerry and Rachel determine what's happening to them? Do we care?

You thought "Transformers" was a stretcher? At least the filmmakers intended that movie as a comic-book fantasy. With "Eagle Eye," the filmmakers want us to take everything in earnest, yet everything is so implausible, it's close to impossible to do so. LaBeouf has been through this kind of thing before and undoubtedly will be again, but Monaghan deserves better.

"Eagle Eye" is so flimsy and its events so inconceivable that it reminds one of a spoofy Roger Moore James Bond epic. Yet, as I say, it's not a spoof. It's supposed to be seriously suspenseful and exciting. Still, all that said, I can't say I completely disliked the movie. LaBeouf's character, although unsympathetic, is glib, resourceful, and pleasant enough; Monaghan's character is sweet and appealing; the constant action may get wearisome, but it is well staged; and the whole production is slickly produced. The film moves along quickly, breathless as it may be, but for action fans it admittedly packs a wallop. So, it's not awful; it's just empty-headed.