The sloppy script, amateurish filming, and deadpan acting couldn't spark one iota of suspense or concern for any of the characters.
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Brocéliande, or Paimpont Forest, is a real-life landmark steeped in myth and folklore tied to medieval times. The mystical setting neighboring the city of Rennes in France is a common fixture in the tales of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, and legend has it that somewhere in those woods marks the final resting place for Merlin the Magician. The site also harbors many historical secrets, including the bloodstained past of Celtic druids performing ritualistic human sacrifices. In the right hands, this interesting concept could be a solid basis for a horror movie, but in writer-director Doug Headline's stranglehold, all of the life is squeezed out of the picture before it even has a chance to take a second gasp of air.
The film begins to turn blue right around the time when a first-year history student named Chloé (Elsa Kikoïne) witnesses a murder on her way back to her dorm late one evening. Instead of choosing typical places to do the deed where there are very few chances of drawing the attention of onlookers, the most logical location the newbie assassin can come up with is a bush in the middle of the college campus courtyard. This enables Chloé to get a glimpse of the victim and he sees her, waving around an egg-shaped artifact muttering something along the lines of "it must be destroyed," just before sputtering out his final breath. The killer then vanishes, concealing his (or her) identity under a cheesy black mask.
It isn't before long when more strange things happen, all somehow connected to the mysterious artifact that the dead man, who turns out to be a professor, was trying to prevent from getting in the wrong hands. More artifacts enter the picture, more corpses turn up, and Chloé receives disturbing messages warning her to leave all well alone. Even though it becomes clear that someone or something is deliberately trying to stop her, through her persistence and determination she slowly uncovers the mystery. It all points to modern day druids gathering the necessary components for a specific ritual to unleash a force of unimaginable power.
Long-story short, the druids pull off their ritual and unlock the gateway to the kingdom of Celtic gods. What pumps out, however, resembles the illegitimate love child between an orc from "Lord of the Rings" and the Crypt Keeper from "Tales from the Crypt." Why on earth would a born-again god of war look like Skeletor after an ass whooping by He-Man? I thought gods were supposed to be almighty and powerful, so why does it have it's point of view represented by unstable drunk-vision? This creature was nothing more than a zombie wearing a fancy helmet, and must be the laughing stock of all the other Celtic deities.
The entire cast, save for the older professors, had obviously been chosen for their looks, because the quality of acting was of the sort that makes people point and snicker. It's possible that watching the film with the English dub caused actions to lose some of their effectiveness if some emphasis was lost in translation, but what excuse could there be for the obscene amount of blank facial expressions? More emotion can be found in a morgue to put it mildly, and it's impossible to feel anything for two-dimensional cardboard characters.
What irked me more than anything, though, was the clumsiness of the director with the whole project. Too many coincidental things occurred by happenstance just to tie up loose ends, while some creative choices didn't make any sense at all. For instance, to explain Chloé's rise to an action hero near the end of the story, Headline backtracked a bit to insert a single piece showing her in martial arts training that just felt totally out of place. I also don't normally spoil endings in reviews, but in the final act of the movie, the monster is simply defeated by shattering the egg! So why didn't the murdered professor just break it himself to thwart any potential evils? All he had to do was toss it on the pavement and die a hero. At least that way I wouldn't have had to sit through the rest of the movie.
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[release]23616[/release]