Mummy Returns, The (DVD)

Connect to Facebook/Twitter, recommend via email and much more.

---

In 1999, Universal Studios positioned a fresh take on its "Mummy" franchise for an early May release to avoid the "Star Wars Episode 1" box office menace. Surprising just about everyone, "The Mummy" took in over $40 million during its opening weekend, and it went on to gross more than $150 million during its entire run--not bad at all for a cheerful, cheeky, at-times campy remake of a ´30s monster flick. In this day and age, just about any movie that breaks the $100 million mark cries out for a sequel, and "The Mummy" begat 2001´s "The Mummy Returns."

Following in the footsteps of its predecessor, "The Mummy Returns" opened in early May to avoid the presumed box office champ of the summer ("Pearl Harbor"). Surprising just about everyone, "The Mummy Returns" grossed over $60 million during its first weekend, and it went on to gross more than $200 million during its run (beating out "Pearl Harbor´s" $198 million). You can be sure that, in addition to the spin-off tale "The Scorpion King," there will be a "Mummy 3."

Pause for a minute. Let us all collectively pray that the third dip in the well proves to be a good effort far superior to the dreadful "The Mummy Returns."

The characters in "The Mummy" charmed their way into our hearts, making that film a sweetly endearing tribute to the action/adventure serials of the 1950s. "The Mummy Returns" depends entirely on our willingness to follow the same characters, sans character growth, and the film is a dreary display of rehashed set pieces, badly-done visual effects, and an overload of so many things thrown at the viewer that it all ends up mattering quite little. Indeed, as if adding insult to injury, the heavily-hyped appearance of wrestling star The Rock is a crock. The Rock, playing The Scorpion King, appears for a few minutes during the film´s early moments, and he "returns" as a completely computer-generated entity during the film´s finale. The Rock doesn´t do enough in the movie to justify all the hoopla.

The principal crew all returned for "The Mummy Returns," as did most of the cast from the first film. Brendan Fraser plays Rick O´Connell, Rachel Weisz bumbles around as his ditsy wife Evelyn O´Connell, John Hannah hams it up as her brother Jonathan Carnahan, Oded Fehr returns as tribal warrior Ardeth Bay, Arnold Vosloo goes bald again as Imhotep, and Patricia Velasquez puts her plastic-looking face to use as the Mummy´s lover, Anck-Su-Namun.

Meela is the physical reincarnation of Anck-Su-Namun. She resurrects Imhotep in order to take over the world, of course. Well, it turns out that Evy is the reincarnation of Nefertiri, Pharoah´s daughter. In a past life, Evy and Meela fought in hand-to-hand tournaments, and they fight again. The best parts of the movie are when Rachel Weisz gets to show off the fighting skills that she learned during filming. Fraser and Weisz still share an easy-going, lovey-dovey chemistry.

James Cameron went bigger and louder from "The Terminator" to "Terminator 2: Judgment Day." He succeeded mightily. Stephen Sommers, writer and director of both modern "Mummy" movies, has also taken the bigger and louder route. Unfortunately, he did not end up on the "better" highway as a result of his decisions, primarily because we´ve seen all of his tricks already during the first "Mummy" outing.

In "The Mummy," Evy causes a roomful of library shelves to collapse like dominoes. In "The Mummy Returns," her son causes a roomful of pillars to collapse like dominoes. In "The Mummy," Imhotep creates a sandstorm, imprinted with his face, to bring down an airplane. In "The Mummy Returns," Imhotep creates a wall of water, imprinted with his face, to bring down a dirigible-like contraption. In "The Mummy," Jonathan has to ask Evy to help him decipher a hieroglyph. In "The Mummy Returns," Alex has to ask Uncle Jon to help him decipher the same hieroglyph. See where this is going?

The film´s pace is so frantic that, oddly enough, I felt that the narrative just drags. When I saw it in the theatre, "The Mummy Returns" started to wear me down around the fifteen-minute mark, and I sunk lower and lower in my chair for the rest of its two-hour plus runtime.

The movie´s internal logic makes no sense whatsoever. For example, if no one who has ever seen the magical pyramid has returned to tell his tales, how do the characters know about it? Also, Ardeth Bay keeps on referring to "the next Apocalypse." Just curious, but isn´t the Apocalypse supposed to be the end all of end alls? Then, there´s the incredible feat (feet) of Brendan Fraser--near the end of the film, he has to outrun the sunrise while carrying Alex to prevent his son from being burned alive. In order to run faster than the rising sun, one must be able to achieve speeds in excess of 1,000 miles per hour. It is one thing for a magical being like Imhotep to accomplish that task, but it is an entirely disbelief-inducing act to have a mere mortal like Rick O´Connell to run as if he were Hermes/Mercury.

There are other abuses as well. Case in point--when did ancient Egyptians use sais, a Japanese weapon? In the first movie, our mortal heroes used items realistically available to them during the 1920s/1930s. This time around, the actors use whatever they please, as long as it looks cool, historical plausibility be damned. And, not meaning to nitpick, but Alex´s age isn´t right. In "The Mummy," Rick and Evy meet in 1926. Their son can be no more than 7-years-of-age, but he´s 8-years-old in "The Mummy Returns." Ya know, Mr. Sommers, if you´re gonna write your own scripts, make sure that you get your facts straight.