Get Over It (DVD)

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The movie "Get Over It" convinced me of three things, and three things only: 1) Colin Hanks, son of Tom, has a chance at being a star in his own right (and his eyes have the quirky intelligence of his father´s); 2) Hollywood should put a moratorium on high school comedies if they all have scripts like this piece of shit; 3) Kirsten Dunst can do little wrong as a performer, no matter how bad her movies end up being.

My god, "Get Over It" ranks as one of the worst movies that I have ever seen, period. I admit to seeing this movie because of Kirsten Dunst (and, to some extent, because of William Shakespeare), but I can't help but feeling so let down by the Hollywood movie system. The big screen should entertain or enlighten, not numb and bore.

Recently, Hollywood flooded the market with teen-oriented fare filled with gross-out gags and jokes. While it wasn't marketed as one, the PG-13 rated "Get Over It" is one of the ugliest, misogynist, sexually disturbing movies on the market. There is a sudden flash of a young lady's breasts, and youths with full command of the DVD remote will be able to pause at the exact frame of anatomical exposure and zoom in on the unfortunate, disgraced actress. Model Kylie Bax plays a hapless bimbo who has a hand rudely shoved between her legs while she lies on a hospital bed with her arms and legs hoisted towards the ceiling. There is also a scene at a strip club where powerfully disgusting things happen to the protagonist. What kind of sick joke is it to be able to let KIDS into a movie with a scene set in a strip joint?!?

The mean-spirited attitude of this film towards its subjects provokes shudders, not laughs. "Get Over It" makes "American Pie" look like it belongs on the American Film Institute's list of the hundred greatest films.

You wanna know how bad "Get Over It" is? Miramax honchos Bob and Harvey Weinstein usually can't wait to plaster their names as executive producers over any Miramax/Dimension release. Their names are nowhere to be found in the credits of "Get Over It."

In the film, Allison (Melissa Sagemiller) dumps Berke (Ben Foster). She immediately hooks up with the new boy in town, "Striker" (Shane West). Allison and Striker audition for the school's rock production of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream," so Berke decides to try out for the musical in order to win Allison back. Meanwhile, Kelly (Kirsten Dunst) tries to help Berke sweeten his vocal cords for singing. A problem arises because Kelly is Berke's best friend Felix's sister. (Colin Hanks plays Felix.) There are a ton of other characters, but they only serve to clutter the sidelines. There are cameos by Vitamin C, Carmen Electra, the aforementioned Kylie Bax, Swooshie Kurtz, Ed Begley, Jr., Coolio, and an extended cameo by Sisqo. Martin Short plays a lecherous Hitler of a drama teacher. They blow.

Every part of the film feels painful to watch, and even Miss Dunst´s trademark energy and aplomb cannot salvage any ounce of watchability for this film. In fact, she looks dreadfully tired throughout most of this sordid enterprise, as if she couldn't believe her lousy luck.

Ben Foster registers no charisma or presence whatsoever; indeed, EVERYONE upstages him even though he plays the central character. How in the hell he ended up dating Dunst in real life, I don´t know.

Did I laugh at all? Sure, but I laughed at the movie´s thudding stupidity.

You know what? The less said about this film, the better. I give up.

P.S. Kirsten can actually carry a tune--her singing voice is wonderful. Please, Kiki, don´t ever act in bad movies again. Make your fans proud, and start getting those Oscar-worthy roles.

Video:
The 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen picture looks very strong and clear, as is to be expected from such a recent release (March 2001). Colors look appropriately vibrant for a film with such a wild palette, and little shimmering or edge enhancement is evident. However, the transfer seems to have some problems with grain, especially during the-play-within-the film sequences. Dark backgrounds look spotty compared to the white costumes of the actors.

Audio:
The soundtrack (Dolby Digital 5.1 English or DD 5.1 French, take your pick) is mostly just loud. A booming subwoofer can disguise the fact that the surround channels don't get much discrete information, just some pumping music and heavy-handed swooshes. As the film is a piss-poor attempt to resurrect the song-score musicals of a bygone era, you will be bombarded with all sorts of music every few minutes. Sure, the audio sounds rockin', but there's not much in the way of subtlety that would push this presentation into the upper echelons reserved for "Saving Private Ryan" or "Macross Plus."