House Bunny, The (Blu-ray)

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Vapid.

Hugh Hefner apparently likes them that way, because in this film (in which Hef has a cameo) his favorite bunny, Shelly (Anna Faris), is called that no fewer than four times. She's so vapid she doesn't even know what it means, and she misabuses the English language like our lame-duck President. Everything is processed through her bunny eyes--which is to say, she's convinced that what's called for in any situation or relationship is a little body language.

The plot is set in motion the morning after Shelly's 27th birthday party at the Playboy Mansion, where her wake-up call is an eviction note from Hef. The house beefcake who waits on her can only speculate: maybe she's gotten too old to be one of Hef's private-stock bunnies? After all, he never did give her her life's dream--a centerfold spread--and she's only appeared in two "Girls of" features. So, bada-bing, bada-boobs, she's gone, just like that, from pampered pet to homeless stray in the span of a single evening.

She'd still be living in her beat-up station wagon if she didn't overhear four college-age girls talking about a party and follow them to the house. "Wow, it looks like a mini-Playboy mansion," she says to herself, and goes inside to ask if she can live there. Yeah, this kid needs a reality check, big-time. She's told that it's a sorority house and that she actually has to be enrolled in school to stay there, but as script-luck would have it, the house mothers of all the sororities are having a meeting and she finds out that they too get to live in these mini-mansions where looking good and having parties seem to be the thing. "Try Zeta," one of them whispers, in a moment of compassion. And quicker than you can say "opposites attract," the blonde-but-aging sexpot is hooking up with a group of misfit girls who value brains more than sex appeal. How is this possible, you wonder? Well, in classic cinematic fraternity/sorority fashion, these losers are going to lose their charter if they can't get more members. And who wants to join a group as motley as this? Yep, it's MAKEOVER TIME, with Shelly giving them lessons in how to strut their stuff . . . or at least find their stuff.

The pleasant surprise is that Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith aren't vapid. These two writers, who penned the scripts for "Legally Blonde" and "Ella Enchanted," give us a screenplay that has a little fun with the concept of an artificial-breasted airhead, and the girls make little asides at Shelly's expense that recognize the values (and intelligence) most viewers will have. There's a Forest Gump twist, too. Shelly may not have an education and she might not have the highest IQ, but she has a good heart and a logic all her own that makes her a sympathetic character and actually seems to work for her . . . until she meets the manager of a retirement home by the name of Oliver (Colin Hanks), who takes a shine to her. When she pulls her bunny tricks out of the hat she's worn her whole life, they flop miserably. So naturally, in true opposites-attract fashion, it's up to the Zeta girls to help her. That's how the formula works, and "The House Bunny" is a formula flick.

"The House Bunny" is also a film I'd describe as "sweet" or "cute," though ironically I don't think those are the kinds of things that one audience for this film wants. Playboy bunny? College campus? Aztec parties? It seems to me that the natural audience for this film is the mancave bunch, who sit, beer in hand, waiting for a little T&A. What self-respecting film about Playboy bunnies won't have at least a little skin, and maybe a lot of sexual situations? Uh, that would be this one. In an early, non-sexual situation we glimpse the derriere of Faris or her body double, but that's it. "The House Bunny" is more "Animal House" with a chick-flick spin than it is one of the raunchy college films. So if "sweet" and "cute" aren't your thing, you might want to look for a different movie, especially if you're having a bunch of the guys over. The most fun the pack will have is trying to spot cameos by Matt Leinert and Shaquille O'Neal.

Then again, a movie like this might be just what hole-up-at-home mancavers need. Written by two women, "The House Bunny" offers a female take on male-female relationships, and that includes what attracts women to men and vice versa. For guys who don't already know this, for example, you can tell a woman is flirting with you if she's a) making eye contact, b) flattering you, and c) touching you. "Lots of touching," Shelly coaches her sorority girls. And pay attention to the eyes. "The eyes are the nipples of the face." There are a few laugh-out-loud moments in this film, as when Shelly tries to get the girls to wash a demo car in front of their house in order to drum up guy-business. "Wash these cars, you sexy bitches," Shelly says, as if wondering where she misplaced her pink fur handcuffs. Or else she deadpans, at a restaurant, "Instead of the mahi-mahi, can I just get the one mahi? 'Cause I'm not that hungry." The reaction shots are priceless. So are the performances of the "girls." Most notable are Emma Stone as brainiac Natalie, and the pierced Kat Dennings, who has some of the best lines that dig at their not-so-brainy house mother. And Beverly D'Angelo ("National Lampoon's Vacation") plays the house mother of the sorority's chief rival with just enough sneering and snobbish relish.