I think the only thing worse than an American remake of J-horror, is a sequel to said American remake. Pulse 2 is one such film.
Tools:
Recommend review to a friend »
If I were a lawmaker, my very first duty would be to draft up a restraining order preventing Hollywood from going within twenty paces of Asian cinema from here on out. Let's face the facts, every pathetic attempt to Americanize Japanese horror since "The Ring" (which was highly overrated to begin with and had an ending that didn't make any sense whatsoever), have either been a stale rehash or blatant amateurish butchery. I just don't see why filmmakers are still trying to milk this fad, when the teat has been bone dry for years.
I think the only thing worse than an American remake of J-horror, is a sequel to said American remake. "Pulse 2" is one such film, written and directed by Joel Soisson--or known around Hollywood as the king of unoriginality. Instead of sitting down to come up with fresh stories about fresh characters, practically all of the man's writing credits are for atrocious horror movie sequels. Some of these gems include "The Prophecy 3: The Ascent" (2000), "Highlander: Endgame" (2000), "Dracula 2000" (2000), "Mimic 2" (2001), "Dracula II: Ascension" (2003), "The Prophecy: Uprising" (2005), "Dracula III: Legacy" (2005), "The Prophecy: Forsaken" (2005), "Hellraiser: Hellworld" (2005), and "Hollow Man 2" (2006).
Of course with such a stellar resume, it didn't faze me in the least to learn Soisson's most recent project is the follow-up to "Pulse" (2006). Maybe Soisson grew tired of churning out rather forgettable sequels and decided to scrape the bottom of the barrel for at least one shot to actually improve on something. Naturally, "Pulse" seemed like the perfect mark, since how could anyone do worse than its 12% rating on Rotten Tomatoes' Tomatometer?
Well, there's always a first time for everything.
Just in case you're unfamiliar with "Pulse," the film starred Kristen Bell and is a bastardized version of "Kairo" from Japan. Basically, the plot revolved around a computer virus that had the ability to turn people into suicidal zombies. Those who are infected eventually kill themselves and become digital ghosts who travel about our world through wireless frequencies. What's more, they spend all of their free time trying to get their lives back by sucking the souls out of the living--creating a fresh supply of kamikaze zombies to repeat the cycle.
It's also discovered that the digi-ghosts have a few weaknesses. For starters, since they commute via technology, they can't go places where computers and cell phones lose their connections. So if you can make it to a dead zone, you won't have much to worry about. The restless undead also seem to be vulnerable to the color red--which keeps them at bay.
"Pulse 2" is pretty much the same deal, except the virus has now taken the world by storm. Any leftover survivors are either being hunted down by angry spirits, on their way to the safety zones, or already home free in the designated areas. One exception is a mysterious man (Todd Giebenhain) who periodically comes out of hiding dressed head-to-toe in a red cloak searching for something. At first I thought he was going to try and sell me some droids.
Most people assume that the main character this time is played by Jamie Bamber (Apollo from "Battlestar Galactica"), but that's all smoke and mirrors. The actual central character in this one isn't even a person. It's a special effects green screen we'll call George. George shows up everywhere--and I mean everywhere--even in the simplest of places like a little girl's bedroom. I don't deny that plenty of situations call for green screen usage, but this is overkill. It wasn't just outright distracting, it gave me the impression that Soisson is one of the laziest filmmakers around. About the only real thing in the entire production was the truck Stephen (Bamber) drove, and that had more filth on it than Pigpen from "Peanuts." Honestly, if we're going to hand green screens out like candy, then the least George could do is whip up a windshield wiper so Stephen could see where the hell he was going.
Average user rating (1-5):
Not yet rated.
Not yet rated.
[release]24715[/release]