Remastered in High Definition and commercial-free, Seinfeld Season Five, with its trivial and intimate-secrets humor, qualifies as one of life's guilty pleasures.
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"But I don't wanna be a pirate," Jerry Seinfeld whines in the infamous "Puffy Shirt" episode, after he's backed into a frilly corner and has to wear it on the Today show because he couldn't understand the "low talker" girlfriend of Kramer's.
One of the things that made Seinfeld such a water-cooler topic of conversation the day after a show aired was that the stand-up comic and his three friends—zany neighbor Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), hapless George Costanza (Jason Alexander), and irrepressible Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus)—didn't just find comedy in all the "nothing" situations that the average person encounters every day. They gave them names, like the "low talkers," the "close talkers," the "double dippers," the "masters of their domain," or the guys who were or were not "sponge worthy." And in the process, they outed everyone right there on national television: all the people who pee in showers, who fake orgasms, who misplace condoms, who habitually masturbate, who secretly pick their noses in public, or who tell little white lies or change themselves to accommodate the people they're dating. As viewers recognized behaviors in the Seinfeld crowd that mirrored their own most private moments, it made those things seem more normal . . . or else made them think that maybe everyone's just a little bit crazy.
Though "Seinfeld" couldn't repeat as Emmy winner for Outstanding Comedy Series—"Frasier" won top honors—Richards won again for Outstanding Supporting Actor. Looking back, it's as if he were born to play the manic and slightly neurotic Kramer. For 498 minutes, his antics, and Jerry's, and Elaine's, and George's endearing and absorbing enough to give the show its first #1 finish in the Nielsen ratings.
This seasons highlights include eight episodes featuring George's bickering parents (Jerry Stiller and Estelle Harris), along with a handful of episodes featuring Newman. Some of the classics? "The Mango," "The Puffy Shirt," "The Bris," "The Hamptons," and "The Cigar Store Indian." Here's a rundown on the 22 episodes:
1) "The Mango"—This one felt like the companion to "The Contest" from the previous season, because of its frank sexual nature. Kramer gets banned from the local fruit market, while Jerry, noticing how absolutely orgasmic women seem to react over food, is startled to learn from Elaine that she faked orgasms with him all the time when they were dating. And now he wants another chance.
2) "The Glasses"—When George loses his glasses at a health club, he has to walk around wearing his prescription swim goggles ("Okay, Aqua-Boy") and rely on Kramer to get him a discount on new glasses. Meanwhile, Elaine is bitten by a strange dog, while Jerry buys a new air conditioner through Kramer. And as always, the plot strands all somehow interconnect.
3) "The Puffy Shirt"—What would prompt Jerry to appear on the Today Show wearing a frilly pirate shirt? Apparently promising Kramer's low-talking girlfriend he would, when he should have just said, "What? Huh? Could you repeat that?" Bryant Gumbel guests.
4) "The Sniffing Accountant"—All that sniffs is not necessarily "blow." As Jerry, Kramer, and Newman (Wayne Knight) stake out Jerry's accountant to see if he's a drug addict, George decides his new career will be selling bras in this very funny episode.
5) "The Bris"—In classic and very funny episode, godparents Jerry and Elaine attend a bris performed by the shakiest mohel in the West. Kramer, meanwhile, is convinced he's seen a pigman at the hospital. And George? It's all about the parking space, baby.
6) "The Lip Reader"—Another funny episode finds Kramer as an unlikely ball boy at the U.S. Open tennis tournament, while George tries to get Jerry's deaf girlfriend to read lips as a kind of party game. Marlee Matlin guests.
7) "The Non-Fat Yogurt"—Jerry and Elaine's quest to find out if their favorite yogurt is non-fat ends up causing quite a stir in the middle of election season. New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani guests. Also in this episode, George comes unglued (what else is new?) when Elaine dates his boyhood nemesis.
8) "The Barber"—To be (butchered) or not to be (butchered), that is the question. As Jerry agonizes over leaving his less-than-competent barber, Elaine drafts Kramer to put himself on the charity bachelor auction block.
9) "The Masseuse"—So why is it that Jerry's masseuse girlfriend won't take care of his massage needs. Naturally, he obsesses about it, while Elaine ends up dating someone everyone thinks is a mass murderer.
10) "The Cigar Store Indian"—If you hate political correctness, you'll love this episode where Jerry keeps offending Elaine's Native American friend whom he finds attractive. Meanwhile, Kramer convinces Elaine's boss that his coffee table book idea is commercially correct. Al Roker plays himself.
11) "The Conversation"—George goes so far as to convert to the Latvian Orthodox religion for his latest love interest, while Jerry becomes alarmed when he spies a peek inside his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and seeks the help of Elaine's podiatrist.
12) "The Stall"—An unforgettable episode has Elaine obsessing over a woman's refusal to pass toilet paper to her under a public restroom stall, while George gets chummy with Elaine's "mimbo" boyfriend and Kramer has Jerry all but convinced the woman he's dating is a phone sex operator. And Elaine's boyfriend tries to introduce the guys to rock-climbing, with disastrous results.
13) "The Marine Biologist"—In this funny episode, Jerry tells an old classmate of George's that he's a successful marine biologist and George has a whale of a time, while Kramer tries golfing on the beach and Elaine's should have called "fore" when her electronic organizer flies out of the limo in which she's riding.
14) "The Dinner Party"—On the way to a dinner party Elaine and Jerry buy a hairy babka. Meanwhile, George's jacket and a $100 bill pose a problem when he and Kramer look for a bottle of wine at the liquor store.
15) "The Pie"—Jerry gets bent out of shape when his girlfriend won't share a piece of pie, while Kramer gets an itch, George buys a noisy suit, and Elaine sees her image on a mannequin and wants answers.
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