Seinfeld (Series, The) (DVD)

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Don't you believe it. "Seinfeld" was never a show about nothing. The more you watch these episodes, the clearer it becomes that every script was a complicated weave of petty annoyances and small situations that, tied together near the end, had the same cumulative substance as any narrative. While the episodes were similar to modern sitcoms that offered a three-strand plot weave, they may have seemed slighter because the scenes were so short that they felt like snippets, and they were augmented by equally short jazz-riff segues. Like the spotlight Seinfeld monologues that framed each one, the episodes had the feel of stand-up routines . . . but illustrated.

Take the most famous episode from Season Seven, "The Soup Nazi." The main thread involves Jerry and George's quest to get soup from a vendor who's famous for berating his customers if they don't do things a certain way: know your soup, keep the line moving, have your money ready, and step to the far left after you order. It's no talking, no dawdling, and no deviating from the rules, or it's No soup for you! But in that same episode, Jerry's friends are annoyed that his latest girlfriend insists on calling him "Schmoopie" (and he, her) in front of others, ad nauseum. Add Elaine's spontaneous purchase of an antique armoire that she can't move into her apartment because it's Sunday (and Kramer tries to guard it, unsuccessfully) and you have an cautionary tale about spontaneity. If you don't stick with the status quo, it's no soup, no armoire, and no Schmoopie for you!

If Season Four is the best that "Seinfeld" had to offer, the seventh season isn't far behind. In addition to one of the most notorious episodes ever, another classic has Elaine reevaluating her sexual standards after the sponge she uses for birth control goes off the market, leaving her with just 60 sponge. Is her latest date "spongeworthy?" It's the kind of thing that becomes a real mood-killer. Same with George, who can't use a condom because he fumbles too much, but is forced to because Susan uses the same sponge that Elaine hoarded. Then again, so does the woman Jerry starts dating . . . after getting her number from Kramer's AIDS Walk list.

Such is life in the "Seinfeld" world, where characters get their comeuppances not because of a major tragic flaw, but because of their own petty insistences and quirks. It was a milestone show when it aired, and "Seinfeld" continues to look better and better on DVD.

Here's a rundown on the 24 episodes, which are housed on four single-sided discs in four slim clear keep-cases and a double cardboard sleeve:

1) "The Engagement." After Jerry and George decide they're kids because they can't commit, George asks Susan to marry him, while Elaine enlists the aid of Kramer and Newman to silence a barking dog that's driving her crazy.

2) "The Postponement." Elaine wishes she were the one getting married, George gets cold feet, and Kramer gets hot coffee dumped in his lap at the theater.

3) "The Maestro." Elaine dates a friend of Kramer's who drives Jerry nuts by telling him there's nothing to rent in Tuscan, while Kramer goes to court against the coffee company.

4) "The Wink." A random incident like grapefruit squirting in George's eye leads to problems at his job with the Yankees.

5) "The Hot Tub." Krameer installs a hot tub in his living room, while Jerry tries to make sure Jean-Paul, who's in town for the marathon and staying with Elaine, gets up in time to race.

6) "The Soup Nazi." The famous "no soup for you" episode, based on a real New York eatery.

7) "The Secret Code." Couples keep secrets, but an ATM code? Meanwhile, Elaine is drawn to a man just because he doesn't remember meeting her, Jerry leaves George with Peterman, who makes him accompany him to see his dying mother, and Kramer gets a scanner to listen in on the local police and fire departments.

8) "The Pool Guy." A guy from Jerry's health club won't leave him alone, while Kramer doesn't mind getting bugged. Called by people thinking he's Moviefone, he soon offers his own service. Elaine, meanwhile, tries to get close to Susan.

9) "The Sponge." Everybody's using it, but the sponge is taken off the market, and it sets the stage for a three-way (make that three-pronged) sexual farce.

10) "The Gum." Jerry buys a lot of Chinese gum and wearing glasses, George's Jon Voight car catches on fire, and Kramer has a hand in it after he pitches in to revitalize the Alex Theatre.

11) "The Rye." In another classic episode, George's parents meet Susan's parents, with disastrous results, while Kramer's horse creates an even bigger disaster, and George tries to sneak in the marbled rye that his parents brought . . . then took away from the dinner.