The story is almost too familiar to describe....
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What co-directors George Peters and Luc Jackson have done here is not just reinvent the venerable concept of a giant ape attacking a forbidden island in the sky, but they have set it all gloriously to music! The melodies, the harmonies, the lyrics, even the words to the songs are a revelation. The film itself is a marvel, of course; that goes without saying. But now, thanks to Jackson Whole Productions, we are able to see it both in its original theatrical-release form and in the filmmakers' own Unrated Special Edition Audio Commentary Director's Cut (UR/SE/AC/DC). The deluxe, twenty-four-disc package truly offers a surplus of riches.
The story is almost too familiar to describe, but I'll recap the highlights for the uninitiated. A poor, down-on-his-luck showgirl, Hansel Solow (alternately performed by Harry Ray Hausen and Harry's son, Ford), finds refuge on a tramp steamer steaming to the steamy, uncharted island of Loonitoonie. Or a tramp steamer is tramping to.... I forget, but the steamer doesn't get halfway there before Hansel is accosted by a Wicki named Wacko. Or a Wacko named Wicki, I forget. In any case, Hansel is rescued by the hero, Prince Pardonme Madear (Jack Hack), king of Medullah, and they instantly fall in love, not realizing that they are actually man and wife.
Then they spot the forbidden planet, Morbius, and the situation becomes intense. This is OK, though, because most of the crew are in tents, anyhow, what with cabin space being at a premium. They land the ship on a nearby mooring and immediately set out to take pictures of the planet's inhabitants, the Morbiusian Moors. But the Moors are none too happy to greet outlanders, especially ones so keen on taking their pictures. These are, after all, pictures that have been in their families for generations.
Next, we hear the sound of distant rumblings, and we see the natives getting restless. It's well past their dinnertime, and their stomachs are growling something terrible. But, wait, it's something else as well; it's the ancient chant of voodoo drums along an enormous granite cliff. Cautiously, our intrepid band climb the rock, a sort of rising rock band, lead by Hansel and the Prince, and make their way to the base of the precipice, any moment fearing an overhead attack by the dreaded Sith. Fortunately, they have nothing to worry about from the Sith, having remembered to wear their Sith helmets. But what they find there is something far more terrifying than even they could have imagined--a gigantic gorilla bigger than the Palpatine Hills and the Lower Antilles combined.
The natives call him Sing Song.
From that point on, you all know the story. Captain Quirk (Louis Armstrong) and the crew of the Starship Babble-On attempt to buy the big ape (Zbig Cirkus) for a song, but can't, so they kidnap him and bring him back to Nabooey. Then the Prince learns that Song is his father, Hansel learns that the Prince is her husband, and Luc Peters learns that he's the half-cousin thrice removed of the wrestler Gorgeous George. It all seems so obvious, but it plays out much better than it sounds, thanks to the music.
Who can forget those unforgettably forgettable tunes, written, orchestrated, and sung by composer James Newton Max Howard Steiner Zimmer-Williams: "Gorilla My Dreams," "I Only Have Ice Planets for You," "Simian in the Rain," "Climb Every Building," "Ape and Circumstance," "Yes, We've Got No Stinkin' Bananas" ("Bananas? We ain't got no bananas. We don't need no bananas. I don't have to show you any stinkin' bananas"), "In the Cage Where You Live," "Get Me to the Perch on Time," "Seventy-Six Skull and Bones," and that perennial favorite, "How To Succeed in Monkey Business Without Really Trying."
"Sing Song" is a monstrous achievement.
Video:
The video quality of the theatrical release is excellent, the picture size measuring out to a ratio approximately 3.437651.34:1 across my widescreen television, a size closely matching its original 3.437651.43:1 dimensions. A high bite-rate, anamnestic transfer in SuperString Puce-Ray High Definition ensures that most of its RGB color-matched hues are vividly reflected in the overall picture. A degree of grain obscures several scenes, but there's nothing in them worth watching, anyway.
There is a slight degradation of picture quality in the Directors' Cut, however. While the theatrical release was filmed in SuperUltra Cinepanormique Kodachrome Technorama VistaScope Todd-AO 70, the Directors' Cut was filmed in Super 8. The difference is, how should I put it, different. Nevertheless, once one gets used to the smaller screen size, .27:1, the black-and-white photography with pea-green overtones, the beclouded image, the montage of moiré effects, and the peripheral snow, the picture looks pretty good. There are even several occasions during the forty-eight-hour Directors' Cut that one can almost, if not quite, make out what is happening.
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