This isn’t an easy program to watch, but it’s a necessary and natural evolution of sex in media.
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"Tell Me You Love Me" is anything but the typical HBO show. There are no larger than life personalities like Tony Soprano or quasi-supernatural versions of America during the Dust Bowl. No, this series takes place somewhere much closer to home: suburban bedrooms. And, perhaps, somewhere much scarier than any other locale. The ten episode first season refuses to pull any punches or sugarcoat the sex lives of four couples at various stages in their relationships. One couple is about to get married, another is trying for a child, the third haven´t had sex in a year and the last is quite content in their partnership. As one of the four commentary tracks points out, these could all be the same people in various time periods.
Our 40-something couple, Katie and Dave (Ally Walker and Tim DeKay) put their children first, comforting them and, for some odd reason, not each other. While they sleep in the same bed together, they haven´t been able to find a way to reach across the abyss and actually touch each other. In fact, the first thing we see of this two-some is Dave masturbating in bed and Katie´s devastation.
While Katie and Dave have children and a life, Hugo and Jamie (Luke Farrell Kirby, Michelle Borth) call off their impending marriage because of fears he can´t commit to monogamy. Or, at the very least, due to their penchant for having sex instead of talking.
In between those two are Carolyn and Palek (Sonya Walger and Adam Scott), well-off 30-something´s who have been trying to conceive a child for a long time. In their world-or at least in Carolyn´s-all that matters is having that child to the detriment of everything else.
And then there´s Dr. May Foster and her husband Arthur (Jane Alexander and Special Guest Star David Selby). They hit a rough patch a couple years ago when she cheated on him, yet they remain together out of love. In her day job, Foster happens to be the couples therapist all the others turn to when their lives go to hell.
This is perhaps unlike any other program HBO-or any network-has ever put together. Simultaneously uplifting, empowering and utterly depressing, it defies simple definition. Sure, it is about sex, sometimes graphically, but it also concerns itself with relationships, marriage, family, communication and faith. As creator Cynthia Mort says in the commentary track on Episode 1, this may be the most conservative show in history. Why? Because despite the sex and the frank talk (the original title was "Fuck Me, Please" but HBO forced a change), "Tell Me You Love Me" is pro-family and pro-monogamy. It´s true: none of the couples cheat on their spouses (Hugo and Jamie notwithstanding since they are not married) and the overriding theme of the season is working out marital problems.
And what a doozy those problems turn out to be. After each episode, there is one of two different reactions from the audience: complete depression or a strange mix of sexually aroused empowerment. Every episode tests the character and the audience, to see just how much more anyone involved can take. Part of that is owed to the voyeuristic aspect to the production. There are situations and conversations we´re not used to seeing. Take Katie and Dave, for example. In their watershed episode (#4), Dave lets fly in therapy with a whole gamut of reasons he doesn´t feel like sex. Picking out the right apple juice, going to Target, reading the kids to sleep and so on. During his rant, the camera comes as close to his face as humanly possible capturing the entire rant in one continuous take. There aren´t any cutaways or respites from the onslaught, putting us in Katie´s shoes as she listens. It´s a brutally real moment.
Outside of the filming style, there is another aspect to the series providing the sense of unmitigated reality: there is no score to the episodes. The only sound in any given scene is source music, as in anything coming from the environment the characters inhabit. No composer, not pop songs to tell us how to feel. Nothing. And this is by design, according to Mort. She wanted the series to be as realistic as possible. The idea is for the characters and dialogue to move the audience´s emotions, not a music cue. There are moments we can hear a bed creak or voices coming from an adjacent apartment. Because there is no score to mask these types of small sounds, the reality of the situation is brought into sharper focus.
I´m hesitating to divulge too many specifics of each storyline for one reason: it would negate the surprise which comes with every installment. The way to approach watching the series is as if Katie, Dave, Jamie, Hugo and the rest are neighbors or friends, not characters in a television program. Why is that? Put simply, whether you want to or not, you will be engulfed by their situations. And to know too much of what is to come would ruin the drama. Besides giving credit to the script and the production style, the actors have to be recognized. This is unconventional material, risky material to be associated with. Each actor dives into the character, allowing their naked souls to be on display.
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