Waking Up In Reno (DVD)

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Maybe it's just the teacher in me but I like to think of every movie as a learning experience. Take the 2002 box-office bust "Waking Up in Reno," for instance. Now, you'd fancy there wasn't a reason in the world for giving this picture a second thought, but I say no. It does, in fact, satisfy the perennial question that's been plaguing moviegoing audiences for over a decade; namely, whatever happened to Patrick Swayze? The answer, unfortunately, isn't worth the bother. But if you really want to know, he's been making nonsense like this.

Another worthy question is why not only Swayze is mired in this dreck but Billy Bob Thornton, Charlize Theron, and Natasha Richardson, too? How could this happen? I mean, a person can readily picture Thornton and Swayze as the yahoos they play here, but Theron is a stretch as an Arkansas yokel, and Richardson is out of the question, despite a credible accent. She's much too classy an actor for this kind of stereotyped material. It's bum stuff all the way around.

As it goes, Thornton and Swayze are boyhood buddies, Lonnie Earl Dodd and Roy Kirkendall, a pair of immature, small-town Arkansians married respectively to Darlene (Richardson) and Candy (Theron). Lonnie Earl is a snake--literally dressing in snakeskin apparel, long sideburns, and goatee--who owns a car dealership and is having an affair with his dim-witted friend's wife, Candy. The reason, we're lead shortly to believe, is because his own wife, Darlene, doesn't understand his needs, is uptight and frigid. Why Candy is carrying on with the snake when she's got Swayze at home is another good question.

But the big Monster Truck Jam is taking place in Reno, Nevada, and the two couples decide to head out on a road trip together to cement their lifelong friendship. The plot plays out along the trek to Reno and a few days after their arrival, with much beer consumed along the way. It's a wearisome journey to say the least.

They leave Millsberg, AK, population 9872, and head on out in a spanking new SUV that Lonnie Earl intends to sell as new when they get back. He's a stickler for schedules, which means they can't stop to look at anything, and his idea of a good time when they do stop long enough for dinner is eating a seventy-two ounce steak in one hour or less at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in order to win a bet. He gets sick. If their behavior seems peculiar, Roy explains that "sometimes when people are away from home, they do things they might not normally do." Like performing in movies like this. Anyway, Roy's line sets the stage for the foursome's upcoming activities.

Along the way they bypass the Grand Canyon since, as Lonnie Earl explains, it's "just a big ol' hole in the ground." Meanwhile, Roy and Candy are trying to have a baby so they make it in the back seat of the SUV while Lonnie Earl and Darlene sit idly by. Whenever they get a chance, the two good ol' boys wrestle and roughhouse and horse around in their motel room, which the two couples share, including the king-size bed because Lonnie Earl is a cheapskate as well as a two-timer. These people are mental midgets and generally carry on like infantile teenagers. Why the filmmakers thought audiences would want to pay good money to look in on these proceedings is anybody's guess.

When the four finally reach Reno, Darlene is overjoyed to see that Tony Orlando is in town. Furthermore, it's intended to be evidence of their narrow thinking that on a trip all the way from Arkansas to Nevada, their destination is Reno ("The Biggest Little Town in the West") and not Vegas. But there is that Monster Truck Jam to consider. Besides, one look out their scenic-view hotel room window at beautiful downtown Reno, and they proclaim it "romantic." So romantic, in fact, it inspires Candy to want to renew her vows with Roy by getting re-married at a nearby "theme" chapel. That and her growing guilt feelings, presumably.

A not-so-surprising turn of events occurring at the film's climax sets all four of them at one another's throats, leading to a melodramatic screaming, kicking, and punching match that in turn leads to something masquerading as a new, sensitive, mutual understanding among them. Phony baloney.