White Noise

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I´m not exactly what you would call the world´s best judge of horror movies. I get scared easily. Those moments when most horror fans are laughing at the cheesy, predictable scares, I´m cowering in my seat, praying that nobody sees just how chicken I really am. I´m that bad. With that qualification in mind, hardcore horror fanatics may easily be able to dismiss (or take with a grain of salt) my review of the Michael Keaton thriller "White Noise."

Keton portrays Jon Rivers, an extremely successful architect whose professional heights are eclipsed only by his wonderful family life. Sure he´s on his second marriage, but his love for Anna knows few bounds and the two, along with son Mike, seem as happy as could be.

But, as is par for the course in any movie that relies on tragedy, that sense of peace isn´t meant to last, and is shattered in a most disturbing fashion when Anna seemingly dies in an accident along a riverbank. Jon goes through an understandable spiral of depression, what you would expect from anyone who loses someone close to them under such dramatic circumstances. He experiences the loss, the depression, the anger, the soul-searching (wondering what he could have done to prevent this tragedy) and approaches acceptance that his beloved is truly gone.

And that´s when things take a turn for the weird. A queer British man starts stalking Rivers, saying he´s been hearing communication from Jon´s recently-deceased spouse through a medium called "EVP." Essentially EVP is leaving a tape recorder running in a place that is supposed to be haunted and interpreting blips in static as voices communicating from the other side. While I´m not convinced it´s much of anything, in reality it´s a fairly creepy phenomenon.

But the creators of "White Noise" weren´t satisfied with something so strange that it could indeed be fiction… they decided to turn these communications with the dead into telepathic predictions of the future. And, it would seem, that Jon´s former wife wants him to play superhero and prevent these tragedies, like a woman and her baby stuck in a car after it struck a telephone pole, from being fried. And instead of leaving the circumstances of the communication at an enthymematic, low-tech level, "White Noise" allows us to see the other side via video tape and huge computer rigs. It is the kind of proof that would rock the scientific community, and one of my biggest problems was that Rivers never stops and realizes that he´s talking to the other side. This movie isn´t cloistered in its timeframe and that´s why Jon´s lack of thoughtfulness is astounding.

Of course what would a good horror movie be without some spooky demons? Not complacent with the superheroic ability to communicate with people from the dead (before they are actually dead… it´s very confusing) there is also a trio of malevolent killers who seem to be initiating much of the death and destruction that Rivers encounters. The problem is that they are so ill-defined that I have little understanding of their motives, save assuming they are pure evil incarnate. It is that lack of definition that makes causes a lot of questions in my mind post-viewing. While watching the movie I was appropriately scared and all that, but dissecting the film after I am just left with unanswered questions that are more frustrating than anything. In fact, the ending is so convoluted and contrived that you´ll be less scared than confused.

The majority of "White Noise" relies on cheap thrills to incite the audience´s fear and enrapture their attention. What could be interesting themes in the movie, the fact that a person dealing with EVP is circumventing the traditional ways of communicating with the other side leaves open a doorway for evil, or River´s failing relationship with his son as he fixates on communicating with his dead wife (he disappears half way through the movie with the deus ex machina of River´s ex-wife) are eschewed in favor of a loosely-defined bunch of sci-fi garbage. There is even a budding romance between Rivers and a local book-store owner who is herself a disciple of EVP that feels forced and extraneous, especially considering what happens to the woman. At least with movies like "The Exorcist" you understand what is happening is because of a demonic possession and can accept the results. There is no sense of why the targets are selected in "White Noise" and that´s one of the reasons I find it so frustrating, in retrospect.

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